Feels Like Home
by moxxie23-deactivated
Summary: Home is where the heart is, or so they say. But what happens when the one thing that made you feel like home gets taken away?


**AN: **This was lurking around in my head and wouldn't let me work on the promised chapters of Understanding and To Get Me To You. So I took the time to write this up. This is meant to be a one shot and would not be spun to have a prequel or sequel. Also, no characters have been set so feel free to have the wrestler you would most love to read about in mind to create your own take on this.

Take note though, that this deals with tragedy and an implied action of serious nature. I hope no one gets offended by it.

Also, since this was done 'hot off the press', don't expect too much of it. This is the first time that I find myself writing in this manner and was quite exhausted from doing so to see if I could do anything else to make it better. So please, bear with me.

That's it I guess. Read on if you still want to.

- Nef

* * *

I've always believed in the saying that home is where the heart is. In the back of my mind and in the deepest recesses of my heart, I knew that as long as I felt strongly about something, I'll be secure in the thought that I have something that's mine and mine alone. My heart. My home. My everything.

When I first started my career in the independent scene, that feeling came directly from the squared circle. That was where my heart was set. To be great within the confines of those ropes – that's what felt like home to me. And then to have those few fans chanting your name or going ooh and ah over what I do was a big bonus.

When I got into the big leagues, it was more about pleasing the fans. I already knew that I was great. Not to sound like such an egomaniac or anything. But I got noticed and I got signed. That was more than what ninety percent of all wrestlers in the entire world could say. And to be where I had always wanted to be, my heart turned towards the fans. Because I knew that in order to stay where I was and still am, I owed it to them to pour my very soul and all of my heart into making them happy.

Then I met her.

She was a simple fan at an ordinary signing. Given any other circumstance, I would have probably never seen her again. But in a weird coincidence, she also happened to be the waitress at the diner that us guys decided to stop in after a show.

All guys are saps on the inside, but I was one who had enough guts to admit it to anyone that cares to know. For some reason, I saw it as kismet. When I saw her at the signing, I was quite taken by her. She was beautiful with flowing dark brown hair, mesmerizing steel gray eyes and a smile that could make the coldest of winters melt into spring. And her voice… like music. Add to that, she was able to hold a nice conversation, instead of gibberish that most fans tend to say, given the limited amount of time that she had which made her memorable to me.

So when I saw her in that diner, I decided to take the chance. I made the crappy excuse of having to go as nature states just so I could go up to the counter to talk to her. She gave me the same smile and we had a pretty nice conversation. I even helped her serve our food once it was done. Of course, the guys gave me shit about a different kind of nature calling, but whatever. I came out of that situation with her number.

Over the next few weeks after that, I managed to call her at least once a day. I got to know her and she got to know me outside of the business. It took about two months for me to be able to say that I felt something more for her. It took me two more months to convince her to come out to a show and see me. I asked her out on a date when she did come.

We were a couple after that. Sure, I may be skipping over several things, but that was how we came to be known. Much like every long distance relationship, it was hard at the start. But both of us knew what we got ourselves into. We managed talking on the phone and decided to stick it out. I flew her in when she had days off work. I visited when I could. But we told each other how much we miss and love the other every chance we could.

It took about a year until I finally asked her to move in. And I was extremely relieved that it didn't have to turn out like the last time I was trying to convince her of something wherein it took the same amount of time that took me to come out and ask her for her to agree.

It was all good once she did move in with me. Now, I'm not saying that things were perfect, but my mind was set at ease that every time I missed her, I could always just pick up the phone and talk to her with the image of her curled up in our bed hugging my pillow. Needless to say, my home was wherever she was.

I asked her to marry me six months later. We got married six months later after going thru some of the craziest moments over planning it. The whole day of the wedding had to be the happiest day of my life. I got married to the girl I loved that morning and was then told that she was pregnant once night fell.

I nearly shot to the roof with her news. I told her I loved her over and over and even showed her how much I loved her over and over. In the afterglow, we made plans of our future. What to name our future child, how we would work around my chosen lifestyle and everything else. My heart had turned to my family.

A family that I never got to have because of one moment of recklessness.

She was five months pregnant and I was still on the road working on a storyline that would wind up with putting me on a kayfabe injury leave. She was coming from work one night, made a stop at the local grocery store for food and was then on her way home. All she had to do was take the exit that was a mere two hundred meters away and she would have been safe.

A police chase caught up to her. A pursuit of a drunk driver. He lost control and hit her car at the driver's side. The speed and the force of the other car ramming into hers was enough to make the car turn over and skid down the road. Paramedics rushed to the scene. I received the call just as I had exited the shower after a match. I fled the arena and got on the first available flight, which happened to be on the boss' private jet. I was praying and crying for her and our unborn child to pull through.

When I got to the hospital, doctors told me that they did everything they could to save my son. Yes, son. I was to have a son but they couldn't do anything to save him. As for my wife, they didn't even know if she could make it thru the rest of the night.

I had trouble holding myself together when I came into the room to see how she was. She looked nothing like the girl I fell in love with. She was as pale as a ghost save for the angry red scratches on her face and arms. She had tubes connected all over her body. The sounds that could be heard only came from the machines telling doctors of her status and my sobs.

If I was just home, this wouldn't have happened.

I didn't even realize that I said it out loud but I did. The only indication that I did was the fact that she softly answered that I had no fault. I barely heard it thru the loud cry that I let out at seeing her gray eyes.

They were still the same. They still carried the same mesmerizing feel to them. I was amazed that they still shone thru whatever pain I knew she was in. Then she smiled at me. That same smile that could make ice turn to water. She told me she loved me… for the last time.

She died before dawn even broke. I never even got to tell her about how she won our bet that we were having a boy. I cried for the longest time and refused to leave her side until my best friend came to take me home. I cried even harder when I got home at the realization that she was no longer there nor will she ever be.

Everything we had talked about vanished like a cloud of smoke. And with that, everything else went away.

I finished whatever obligation I had after her funeral. I left the lifestyle that brought her to me in the first place. My heart had long since left it after meeting her. The only reason I kept on doing it was because I knew she loved it and that it would have helped secure our future.

My heart was no longer in the ring. It was no longer my home. My heart was no longer with the fans. They didn't make me feel like I was home. My heart was, is and always will be with her. She was my heart. She was my home. She was gone. And so was everything else. She's in heaven now.

And soon enough, so will I. Just so I could finally feel like I'm home again… with her and our son.


End file.
